Tonight I woke up on the couch….well I actually ‘woke’ to a dream-like state. I was trying to figure out the proper way to lay so that I didn’t feel ALL of the sweat at the same time. I actually had a thought that there was a particular way I could lay to avoid the feeling. Madi was sitting right next to me and there were some soft chocolate chip cookies on a small plate sitting on the ottoman beside my meter. She was telling me to wipe off the sweat as she was trying to hand me a handtowel but I kept telling her that it was fine….I honestly felt that I had this ‘under control’…whatever THIS was. Madi started to do my blood sugar and asked me for a finger. I replied with, “It’s probably going to be a little low”.
“I know”, she said, “I just gave you glucagon.”
“Like less than 5 minutes ago.”
For some reason, I have felt for years that the sickness level I feel after receiving glucagon is directly related to how much I actually receive when I am injected with it. And I have also learned that staying with smaller amounts usually does the trick and doesn’t make me super sick afterwards. So, 25 units sounded good.
Then it hit me….all of a sudden….my thoughts of how I could lay to avoid the sweat that covered my entire body and soaked my clothes were directly related to me being low. And my false feeling of ‘having this under control’ was, in fact, totally false. I did not have this under control. Or did not a little less than five minutes ago at least. My daughter did.
My blood sugar was a 48…and this is AFTER the 25 units of glucagon 5 minutes or so ago.
I immediately got up, went into the kitchen and got myself some soft chocolate chip cookies. They looked so good sitting on the plate in the living room that I had to get myself some…and why not now since I’m a 48!
Madi laughed in the living room and told me that the ones in there were for me…I just didn’t put that together because of my slowed, current, mental state.
I’m standing at the counter eating the cookies and notice that the fresh pineapple on the counter looks like it is needing to be cut…so I start to cut it. I ended up eating a majority of it before the pieces reached the bowl and it tasted so very, very good! I often enjoy how well foods taste while coming back from a low. Am I the only one who notices that?? Even better than the pineapple though was the conversation I had with Madi while she finished loading the dishwasher.
I told her that I should write about my low and all of the thoughts/feelings I was having when I awoke from it. She informed me, in all of her true wisdom that I love so much, that I should write it down really soon because being low like that is ‘like a dream…if you don’t write it down in the first five minutes of waking up then it will be gone’. So, so very true!! 🙂 Such a smart girl! Oh yeah, and kinda crazy that we can share these thoughts about low blood sugars.
I put some pineapple into a bowl for Madi and put it onto the counter beside her. I leaned in towards her, as she is still loading the dishwasher, and kissed her cute cheek…and simply said “Thank You Monkey, for saving my life!”.
She smiled her beautiful smile and did a cute laugh followed by her usual “Yeah”….never knowing or realizing how much of a true Angel she is to me and always has been. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have her for my daughter!
I then realized how wet my clothes were and immediately went to change and clean off…recheck my blood sugar…change the laundry…remind Madi to do her blood sugar and Lantus…and start to brew some tea.
All part of a ‘normal‘ night.
* Madi talked of the point of coming back from a low as being ‘like a dream’. In so many ways I would agree. There is the state of not quite knowing what is going on, the mental blurriness, the heightened senses, and the impaired physical vision. But as I thought of all those things and the concept of being in a ‘dream’ state, it occurred to me that dream states can take many forms.
Tonight I was fortunate enough to experience both a bad one…and a good one.
While in the process of cleaning up the pineapple and starting my tea to brew, it occurred to me that my life is like a dream of sorts. I am so very blessed to have it and all aspects of it… some would consider it to be a DREAM!